Go! Don't Be A Couch Potato!

God is up to something!! I don't know what or how but God is up to something here in our lives. Right now there are a lot of things going on in my home. There are a lot of not very nice things here but in the midst of it all God is up to something. Right now I can't see Him in the middle of it in the natural but I know that He is up to something supernatural! There is a sturring in my spirit of what is to come. God is sturring things up in the spirit realm. Things will not be able to stay the same. You can not stay the same and survive. God is calling us to die!! Calling us to change and lay down our lives so that He may be glorified. He is calling us to loose our lives so that He may do what He wants through us. So that He may touch a dying world, a hurting and broken world through us. He is calling us to forsake oursleves and go! Go to the places that don't know Him. Go to the hurting, broken and dying. Go to your next door neighbor that is raising her child by herself. Go to the person who just lost their closest loved one. Go! Go!! Go!!! Don't continue to sit in your pew in your church and get fat! America is so fat on the Word of God and yet we are all dying! You won't be able to recieve more of God until you give what you have away! You won't be able to understand more of what you are supposed to be doing with you life until you give some of what you know away! Give, Give, Give! Give yourself away so that you may gain Him! Give yourself to Him so that you may gain Him! Go to the hurting! Go to the dying! Go the unlovely! God loves those people too. Jesus didn't die for the the ones that think they deserved it. You didn't deserve anything! It was a gift. It was the only way that you could come before God unashamedly just the way you are. Jesus loves the unlovely just as much as the lovely. The church is the one that doesn't love the unlovely! Jesus lived, slept and ate with the unlovely. The ones that didn't smell nice. The poor. The children. Go people, Go! Go out into the world and show them the love of Jesus Chirst. Not a slanted religion but a savior, a friend, a lover, a father. So the world what Jesus came here to do. Don't waist all of the suffering that Jesus did on the cross. Don't let the love that Jesus displayed on the cross sit around and not be used. It grieves the heart of God when we take what He did and sit on it. That is not what He instructed us to do and that is not what the intention of the cross. Just for a selected few. NO! It is for the world. And if you aren't sharing with others about the goodness of God in your own life then it is being wasted! Go into all the world and share the good news!!

The heart of God is the father. The face of God is Jesus. The voice of God is the Holy Spirit. The hand of God is the church! The church is you!

Just a few random thoughts....

As I have been searching the web looking at other people's blogs and reading about other peoples lives, I have become more aware of the hardships of other peoples lives that you wouldn't know just by passing them on the street. Everyday people just like you and me go through things that sometimes no one knows about. We are all hurting. We are all going through things. A really good example of this happened this summer while I was in Mozambique.
On July 4th my brother commited suicide. He left three kids and a wife behind, a sister and a brother, a mom and step dad, and a whole mess of in-laws. I spent one month and one day not telling anyone but a very selective few (like 4) about what had happened. I went on like nothing happened in any area of my life. Going into secret places and crying where no one would see me hurting and then coming out with a happy face on but questioning everything. Questioning my existance, God's existance, my purpose, why God had taken me half way across the world when He knew that this was going to happen. Why did God have to send me away when my family needed me the most? Why? Why? Why? That was the question of the hour. The few that knew about it helped me, encouraged me, and prayed for and with me. Helping keep me spiritually alive. I gave them a good share of questions to answer, none of which they could. But despite it all they were there with and for me through this crazy time. (Thank you guys for everything.) Going on about my business the rest of the time and crying at night softly so as to not wake my five other room mates up, waking up in the morning with a smile on my face wondering if anyone noticed. I did that for about a month and few days. When the Lord finally convinced me to get up and share what had happened before one hundred and fifty people, the response was overwhelming. Everyone immediately got up, layed hands and prayed for me right then and there which I needed so desperately bad. For the next comming weeks people continually came up to me offering their sympathy and saying, "I never knew." "I had no idea that anything was going on." Along with those remarks came, "You handled yourself very well under the circumstances." "I am amazed that you stayed here." "You are a very strong woman." One girl stands out in my memory with a story that I only recently heard that touched my heart more than she will ever know. I would like to share part of that email with you if I may.
"I just wanna start by saying that God used you to teach me a big lesson this summer...one I will never forget. I would like to share it with you though while we were in Africa I was too ashamed of myself to come to you. When we were all still emailing, back before we had ever met and gotten Mozambique, I remember thinking how grateful I was for all the help you offered while we were all getting the emails from Susi - you were really helpful in a lot of ways and I looked forward to meeting you. Then I remember meeting you in the Maputo airport - you watched my backpack for me while I got a coffee - and I decided my suspisions about you were confirmed - that you were a really sweet and kind and helpful person...well, somewhere between getting put in the dorm, and then the tent city moving to the new base, I didn't see you much and so I was busy making friends in the dorm - and trying to cope with being smashed in with 36 other girls - while you were experiencing the new base, and making new friends as well, I am sure. So the summer went on, and about mid-July I noticed that you didn't seem to be as friendly as you had been in the beginning and that you didn't seem to want to mix alot with the other students, and you were sort of keeping to yourself - and because of my own issues of being afraid of being rejected by people, I decided that you were just being stuck up and snobbish and that I would simply steer clear of you - instead of trying to find out why, or how I could be a servant to you, I simply made a judgment and decided it was the truth. The day that you got up and shared your testimony in front of the students, about what had hppened to your family and the death of your brother, I cried as you shared and then I got before God and cried my heart out - asking Him to forgive me for judging you and not having eyes to see your pain and be a friend and a strength to you. I got a good look at my own heart... I know you probably had NO clue that any of this was going on in my head - we were never around each other a lot, so you probably never noticed - but I wanted to say to you that I am sorry that i judged you, Joy, and wasn't a strength and support to you. I have prayed for you a lot since that time...And now when I have an oppurtunity to judge someone, I really think twice about the situation the person might be going through...God used you to teach me some truth about my own heart - for which I am very grateful."
This goes to show you that no one has any idea what another person is going through unless you take the time to find out. People are the best at hiding their hurts. We are the best at putting up masks so that we don't get hurt but most of all so that no one sees our hurt. Especially church folk and pastors, pastors kids, and anyone who has been in ministry for any length of time. It shouldn't be this way. Churches are supposed to be the place where people come to be healed not hurt.
I learned a couple of things this summer.
One: is that as men and women of God we need to be attentive to people and their needs. We need to learn to be giving of ourselves and be aware of what people are going through. If it is a family member that is going through a tough time, reach out to them. Figure out a way to love them, to BE love to them. If it is someone on the street don't judge them for the way they looked at you or the way they said something to you. Don't judge people just by what they do or say to you, you have no idea what they are going through in their lives. They may have just lost someone very close. Their marriage may be on the rocks. They may be struggling financially. They may be dealing with physical needs and issues. You never know unless you take the time to know.
Second: If you are the one hurting. If you are the one that is going through something terrible, find someone that you can talk to that will be an encouragement to you and not bring you down. Take it from me, we NEED others. There is no way that I could have made it on my own with out those select few around me supporting me. Let me tell you, I was a basket case. My emotions were all over the place. One moment I was happy and laughing and the next moment, when I would think about it, would be depressed, sad, angry, confused, unsure of everything. I was probably in the best environment anyone could have been in during the worst time of my life and yet I was still struggling. Please, don't hide. It only makes things worse. I hid for about a week seeing only two people the entire week. It made things worse. When I moved back into "normal" African life, back into my house and around people again it made things a bit easier because I wasn't constantly thinking about MY situation. We need each other to help us, to keep our head above water, to keep us sain in the midst of insaintiy. We need Godly people to come along side of us and hold us up. Pray and fight with us. Mourn and laugh with us.
If you are a Jesus Freak and you have holy given yourselves to the King of kings and the Lord of lords, open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart to people. People that are in need of someone. All it takes is one person. ONE person can make all the difference in the world for someone.
If you are someone hurting, in need of that ONE person find someone. There are people in churches who love Jesus and have holy given themselves to Jesus. There are people who are laid down lovers of the most High King, Savior, and Dad. Find those people and talk to them. I am glad to talk to anyone at any time if you want to drop me a note via email or via the comments below. I am all ears if you ever want to talk. Jesus loves us so much. All of the pain that we experience Jesus has taken 2000 years ago on the cross. He is reaching out for you will you reach out to Him for help. He has been waiting for you.

God IS going to do EVERYTHING HE promised!!

And thats a promise!
Here I am today, refreshed and excited about the things that God has up His sleeve for the next few days, weeks, months, and years. (Trying to focus on the next few hours.)

I have been in an interesting place, physically and spiritually. Physically, I am in Texas which is nothing to be bragging about. Spiritually, I am in a waiting zone. God has me in a holding pin. I am not totally sure why but have been given some hints.

God has been teaching me patience and faith. Asking me to step out on the limb of faith and set up speaking engagements without any money or transportation. (Maybe thats what God is trying to say through the dreams, that everything will be taken care of to totally trust in Him!?) Revelation. Its scary. :)

I have been, I guess, depressed. Having drepressed-like sympotoms like sleeping A LOT and eating and being a junky on the computer and television, spending 12 and 14 hours online every night and sleeping during the day. I talked to a really good friend the other day and she helped snap me out of whatever slump I was in, telling me that I am a daughter of the King and my lifestyle needs to refect that honored place. Basically "SNAP OUT OF IT!! GOD IS IN CONTROL!!" So here I am on Monday the 19th ready to do what God has asked me to do for today. I am really debating on whether or not I should get a job here. If I get one here I will have to put in my 2 weeks within a week so that I can leave to Roswell on the 18th of October to fulfill a commitment to my niece. So I am still debating that. (Will decide today if I go and get one or not.)

I went to church last Sunday and God completely wrecked me. A lot like Pemba. (Man I do miss our matts and the dirt.) I was on the nice, fresh, plump carpet crying my eyes out, absolutely balling. The Lord was asking me if I was willing and I said yes. He was commissioning me again to go out and do what He has asked me to do. (Its kinda interesting. Right after that day this entire last week I have wanted to absolutly nothing. Wondering what God had for me to do. I was a sitting duck and not getting anything accomplished physically or spiritually. -- Depressed!)
This Sunday I went to a Baptist Church and the last thing that I needed to hear was what he preached on. "The devil is a BIG devil and you are a little person." Exactly the opposite of what I needed or wanted to hear or of what was the truth. God is in control. Did learn a lot though about the devil origin.

So today I am sitting here at 5:00am wondering what God has up His sleeve for today. I am going to try to set some speaking engagements up for next month and walk out on faith that God is going to provide the means to be there. Faith, its great!!! :)

Please pray that God would give me direction, wisdom, and discernment concerning my father. This is the hardest mission field anyone can have is their own family.

This weekend we are going to Dallas to see Heidi Baker. She is doing a conference and my dad really wants to go. So I expect God to do some massive surgery this next weekend. Hopefully God will do what it took three months for me to do in him in two days. I am not sure what kind of divine appointments God is going to hook up there but I expect it will be perfect. :)

So, my eyes are focused back on what they need to be and not on my situation. I am still anxious to get out of here but I am learning that He IS in control and is doing things for a reason that I can't figure out. So I am going to begin AGAIN today to prepare in the Word of God and prepare in any other way that the Lord directs for the next step. I NEED more of Him and the only way I am going to get that is if I spend MORE time with Him and in His word. I am going to take care of todays problems with todays strength, patience, and wisdom. Please continue praying for me. I still have a long way to go.

The Day That God Wrecked My Life........AGAIN!!

On Sunday, when I went to church God ambushed me from all sides. Totally and completely wrecking me! I was in desperate need of MORE of Him and on Sunday He gave it too me. When I first walked in the doors God said, "I have something for you." I didn't really think anything about it and just went on in. Right before going into the sanctuary I saw this poster board that had pictures on it from Zambia. Oh how I miss Africa. I then heard the pastors wife saying they had guest speakers that were missionarys to Zambia. I have to admit it definately perked my intersts.
Worship started, and God hit me. His presense was so thick over me, all I could do was weep. I finally got out into the isle to go up front and fell to the ground. At first I was on my knees but it wasn't low enough, so I laid prostrate before the Lord and that wasn't low enough! God continued to wreck me. I continued to cry out for more of Him and once again laying my family before the Lord and everything else that was in the way of my Lover and I. He commissioned me again and my thirst for more of Him was quenched. I didn't hear anything that was going on for I was too involved with everything that Holy Spirit was doing in my heart.
When I finally got up, the church was praying for a man and his wife. As I was standing in my seat, I heard Daddy wisper and say, "You had better get over there or you are going to miss something." I had nothing else to do but to obey. So I went over, blood shot eyes and all, laid my hand on the man's head. The Spirit of God hit me again the moment I laid my hand on his head, I had to go down to the ground. As I sat there on my knees praying for this mans feet, I wept. I wept over this mans feet and cried over his family. I have no idea what or how I prayed, all I know is that God put a burning burden in my heart for this couple. A few moments later I found out that this couple were the missionaries to Zambia. He had prostate cancer and they had just lost their youngest son last May. When she got up to share a bit and shared about their youngest, she began to break down and cry and said that it was hard returning to a place that had caused so much pain. So I am not sure if somthing happened in Zambia to their youngest or what exactly but my heart broke even more.
Not only did He burn them into my heart to pray for them, He dropped a couple of messages in my Spirit for me to study and prepare for. I was able to be in the audience of a speaking missionary telling stories of and from a third-world nation. Being able to feel the audience's reactions to the stories. Holy Spirit began to put things into perspective. He said, "When I release you to speak about what I did in Mozambique, keep in mind your audience and where they have or haven't been. Most don't understand the culturely revelant things of third-world nations. Do not condemn them for that, teach them."
Right now I don't fully understand what happened that day, all I know is that I fell more in love with my Daddy that day. I became more lovesick, needing and wanting more of Him. I heard a man once say that if you understand everything about your Christianity, you are living an inferior Chritianity. That is my life summed up right there. I don't understand everything or even part of everything about my Christianity or concerning my Chirstianity, all I know is that I love Jesus and I want anything and everything He wants in and for my life and others lives and I will do anything for Him to see that happen. Its crazy I know. But I'm in love. Don't people in love do crazy things?

Oh America. I pray mercy and grace!

Thank you! Thank you to all who have served with our great nation and for this great nation. I pray for you daily. That God would keep you in His hands, that He would give you wisdom and direction, that He would protect you from the attacks of the enemy. Please know that America stands with you. Christian American's stand with you. No matter what kind of adversity that comes onto our nation, we will stand behind and support you. Ok so maybe I am overstepping my bounds when I say we as Americans or we as Christians.But I CAN say for me that I WILL stand behind and support you. This Christian American will stand behind you and support you. Thank you for protecting this nation. Thank you for protcecting me. Please know that you have, if there is no one else that will stand with you please know that this one American is standing, this one Christian is standing.

I pray that God has mercy on this nation. I pray that we as a nation never see God's judgement! Oh how that will be a sad day. Folks pray for Gods mercy and grace. Oh how we don't want to see Gods wrath or judgement. I thank God everyday for this nation that was founded on the Word of God. I thank God everyday for the prinicples that our Constitution stands on. If we could just get back to that foundation, if we could just get back to that simplicity America would have a good chance of getting out of this thing alive. Folks its all about God's agenda not ours. Its all about what we can do for Him, not what He can do for us. Its all about surrendering our lives to His will. When that happens there is so muchcontentment and peace and joy. and But if we go and do our own thing apart from Him we will fail miserably. Instead of contentment there will dissruption. Instead of peace there will be chaos. Instead of joy there will be sorrow. Repent! God is calling us back to His heart. He is longing for His bride to be with Him. He is coming back soon, very soon. Are we ready? Are we ready to face Him, our bride groom, King? All we have to do is ask for His mercy and forgiveness. He wants to extend it to you. He longs to have you close to His heart. He is longing to carress your cheecks. He is longing to wisper in your ear how much He absolutely adores you. Will you respond to that cry? Will you turn from your wickedness and cry out for His mercy and forgivness? There is no time to waist. Do it now. We are not guarenteed to live tomorrow. We aren't even guarenteed today. Cry out for His mercy and forgivness before its too late. He said, "whatsoever you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." --Matthew 21:22 Ask. He wants to give it to you!!!

If you have any questions please feel free to write to me and leave a comment. I would love to talk to you more if you have questions. This a very urgent cry from the heart of God. Please don't ignore this. It may cost you everything.

The Purpose

The purpose of this blog is so that I can put my thoughts down somewhere. I am not totally sure how everything will turn out with this blog but this is my intention. My intention is to write things that God has put on my heart, things that are running around in my head that I need to get out, and things that I am going through. There will also be a place for prayer requests hopfully (if I can figure it out. If there is anyone smart that comes across this blog please help. I have some questions if you are open to that. Thanks.) If there are any questions please feel free to email me or you can drop a comment. I love to read comments and look at blogs. Thanks to everyone who has and is putting up with my "randomness." You guys rock!!