God IS going to do EVERYTHING HE promised!!

And thats a promise!
Here I am today, refreshed and excited about the things that God has up His sleeve for the next few days, weeks, months, and years. (Trying to focus on the next few hours.)

I have been in an interesting place, physically and spiritually. Physically, I am in Texas which is nothing to be bragging about. Spiritually, I am in a waiting zone. God has me in a holding pin. I am not totally sure why but have been given some hints.

God has been teaching me patience and faith. Asking me to step out on the limb of faith and set up speaking engagements without any money or transportation. (Maybe thats what God is trying to say through the dreams, that everything will be taken care of to totally trust in Him!?) Revelation. Its scary. :)

I have been, I guess, depressed. Having drepressed-like sympotoms like sleeping A LOT and eating and being a junky on the computer and television, spending 12 and 14 hours online every night and sleeping during the day. I talked to a really good friend the other day and she helped snap me out of whatever slump I was in, telling me that I am a daughter of the King and my lifestyle needs to refect that honored place. Basically "SNAP OUT OF IT!! GOD IS IN CONTROL!!" So here I am on Monday the 19th ready to do what God has asked me to do for today. I am really debating on whether or not I should get a job here. If I get one here I will have to put in my 2 weeks within a week so that I can leave to Roswell on the 18th of October to fulfill a commitment to my niece. So I am still debating that. (Will decide today if I go and get one or not.)

I went to church last Sunday and God completely wrecked me. A lot like Pemba. (Man I do miss our matts and the dirt.) I was on the nice, fresh, plump carpet crying my eyes out, absolutely balling. The Lord was asking me if I was willing and I said yes. He was commissioning me again to go out and do what He has asked me to do. (Its kinda interesting. Right after that day this entire last week I have wanted to absolutly nothing. Wondering what God had for me to do. I was a sitting duck and not getting anything accomplished physically or spiritually. -- Depressed!)
This Sunday I went to a Baptist Church and the last thing that I needed to hear was what he preached on. "The devil is a BIG devil and you are a little person." Exactly the opposite of what I needed or wanted to hear or of what was the truth. God is in control. Did learn a lot though about the devil origin.

So today I am sitting here at 5:00am wondering what God has up His sleeve for today. I am going to try to set some speaking engagements up for next month and walk out on faith that God is going to provide the means to be there. Faith, its great!!! :)

Please pray that God would give me direction, wisdom, and discernment concerning my father. This is the hardest mission field anyone can have is their own family.

This weekend we are going to Dallas to see Heidi Baker. She is doing a conference and my dad really wants to go. So I expect God to do some massive surgery this next weekend. Hopefully God will do what it took three months for me to do in him in two days. I am not sure what kind of divine appointments God is going to hook up there but I expect it will be perfect. :)

So, my eyes are focused back on what they need to be and not on my situation. I am still anxious to get out of here but I am learning that He IS in control and is doing things for a reason that I can't figure out. So I am going to begin AGAIN today to prepare in the Word of God and prepare in any other way that the Lord directs for the next step. I NEED more of Him and the only way I am going to get that is if I spend MORE time with Him and in His word. I am going to take care of todays problems with todays strength, patience, and wisdom. Please continue praying for me. I still have a long way to go.