Just a few random thoughts....
As I have been searching the web looking at other people's blogs and reading about other peoples lives, I have become more aware of the hardships of other peoples lives that you wouldn't know just by passing them on the street. Everyday people just like you and me go through things that sometimes no one knows about. We are all hurting. We are all going through things. A really good example of this happened this summer while I was in Mozambique.
On July 4th my brother commited suicide. He left three kids and a wife behind, a sister and a brother, a mom and step dad, and a whole mess of in-laws. I spent one month and one day not telling anyone but a very selective few (like 4) about what had happened. I went on like nothing happened in any area of my life. Going into secret places and crying where no one would see me hurting and then coming out with a happy face on but questioning everything. Questioning my existance, God's existance, my purpose, why God had taken me half way across the world when He knew that this was going to happen. Why did God have to send me away when my family needed me the most? Why? Why? Why? That was the question of the hour. The few that knew about it helped me, encouraged me, and prayed for and with me. Helping keep me spiritually alive. I gave them a good share of questions to answer, none of which they could. But despite it all they were there with and for me through this crazy time. (Thank you guys for everything.) Going on about my business the rest of the time and crying at night softly so as to not wake my five other room mates up, waking up in the morning with a smile on my face wondering if anyone noticed. I did that for about a month and few days. When the Lord finally convinced me to get up and share what had happened before one hundred and fifty people, the response was overwhelming. Everyone immediately got up, layed hands and prayed for me right then and there which I needed so desperately bad. For the next comming weeks people continually came up to me offering their sympathy and saying, "I never knew." "I had no idea that anything was going on." Along with those remarks came, "You handled yourself very well under the circumstances." "I am amazed that you stayed here." "You are a very strong woman." One girl stands out in my memory with a story that I only recently heard that touched my heart more than she will ever know. I would like to share part of that email with you if I may.
"I just wanna start by saying that God used you to teach me a big lesson this summer...one I will never forget. I would like to share it with you though while we were in Africa I was too ashamed of myself to come to you. When we were all still emailing, back before we had ever met and gotten Mozambique, I remember thinking how grateful I was for all the help you offered while we were all getting the emails from Susi - you were really helpful in a lot of ways and I looked forward to meeting you. Then I remember meeting you in the Maputo airport - you watched my backpack for me while I got a coffee - and I decided my suspisions about you were confirmed - that you were a really sweet and kind and helpful person...well, somewhere between getting put in the dorm, and then the tent city moving to the new base, I didn't see you much and so I was busy making friends in the dorm - and trying to cope with being smashed in with 36 other girls - while you were experiencing the new base, and making new friends as well, I am sure. So the summer went on, and about mid-July I noticed that you didn't seem to be as friendly as you had been in the beginning and that you didn't seem to want to mix alot with the other students, and you were sort of keeping to yourself - and because of my own issues of being afraid of being rejected by people, I decided that you were just being stuck up and snobbish and that I would simply steer clear of you - instead of trying to find out why, or how I could be a servant to you, I simply made a judgment and decided it was the truth. The day that you got up and shared your testimony in front of the students, about what had hppened to your family and the death of your brother, I cried as you shared and then I got before God and cried my heart out - asking Him to forgive me for judging you and not having eyes to see your pain and be a friend and a strength to you. I got a good look at my own heart... I know you probably had NO clue that any of this was going on in my head - we were never around each other a lot, so you probably never noticed - but I wanted to say to you that I am sorry that i judged you, Joy, and wasn't a strength and support to you. I have prayed for you a lot since that time...And now when I have an oppurtunity to judge someone, I really think twice about the situation the person might be going through...God used you to teach me some truth about my own heart - for which I am very grateful."
This goes to show you that no one has any idea what another person is going through unless you take the time to find out. People are the best at hiding their hurts. We are the best at putting up masks so that we don't get hurt but most of all so that no one sees our hurt. Especially church folk and pastors, pastors kids, and anyone who has been in ministry for any length of time. It shouldn't be this way. Churches are supposed to be the place where people come to be healed not hurt.
I learned a couple of things this summer.
One: is that as men and women of God we need to be attentive to people and their needs. We need to learn to be giving of ourselves and be aware of what people are going through. If it is a family member that is going through a tough time, reach out to them. Figure out a way to love them, to BE love to them. If it is someone on the street don't judge them for the way they looked at you or the way they said something to you. Don't judge people just by what they do or say to you, you have no idea what they are going through in their lives. They may have just lost someone very close. Their marriage may be on the rocks. They may be struggling financially. They may be dealing with physical needs and issues. You never know unless you take the time to know.
Second: If you are the one hurting. If you are the one that is going through something terrible, find someone that you can talk to that will be an encouragement to you and not bring you down. Take it from me, we NEED others. There is no way that I could have made it on my own with out those select few around me supporting me. Let me tell you, I was a basket case. My emotions were all over the place. One moment I was happy and laughing and the next moment, when I would think about it, would be depressed, sad, angry, confused, unsure of everything. I was probably in the best environment anyone could have been in during the worst time of my life and yet I was still struggling. Please, don't hide. It only makes things worse. I hid for about a week seeing only two people the entire week. It made things worse. When I moved back into "normal" African life, back into my house and around people again it made things a bit easier because I wasn't constantly thinking about MY situation. We need each other to help us, to keep our head above water, to keep us sain in the midst of insaintiy. We need Godly people to come along side of us and hold us up. Pray and fight with us. Mourn and laugh with us.
If you are a Jesus Freak and you have holy given yourselves to the King of kings and the Lord of lords, open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart to people. People that are in need of someone. All it takes is one person. ONE person can make all the difference in the world for someone.
If you are someone hurting, in need of that ONE person find someone. There are people in churches who love Jesus and have holy given themselves to Jesus. There are people who are laid down lovers of the most High King, Savior, and Dad. Find those people and talk to them. I am glad to talk to anyone at any time if you want to drop me a note via email or via the comments below. I am all ears if you ever want to talk. Jesus loves us so much. All of the pain that we experience Jesus has taken 2000 years ago on the cross. He is reaching out for you will you reach out to Him for help. He has been waiting for you.
On July 4th my brother commited suicide. He left three kids and a wife behind, a sister and a brother, a mom and step dad, and a whole mess of in-laws. I spent one month and one day not telling anyone but a very selective few (like 4) about what had happened. I went on like nothing happened in any area of my life. Going into secret places and crying where no one would see me hurting and then coming out with a happy face on but questioning everything. Questioning my existance, God's existance, my purpose, why God had taken me half way across the world when He knew that this was going to happen. Why did God have to send me away when my family needed me the most? Why? Why? Why? That was the question of the hour. The few that knew about it helped me, encouraged me, and prayed for and with me. Helping keep me spiritually alive. I gave them a good share of questions to answer, none of which they could. But despite it all they were there with and for me through this crazy time. (Thank you guys for everything.) Going on about my business the rest of the time and crying at night softly so as to not wake my five other room mates up, waking up in the morning with a smile on my face wondering if anyone noticed. I did that for about a month and few days. When the Lord finally convinced me to get up and share what had happened before one hundred and fifty people, the response was overwhelming. Everyone immediately got up, layed hands and prayed for me right then and there which I needed so desperately bad. For the next comming weeks people continually came up to me offering their sympathy and saying, "I never knew." "I had no idea that anything was going on." Along with those remarks came, "You handled yourself very well under the circumstances." "I am amazed that you stayed here." "You are a very strong woman." One girl stands out in my memory with a story that I only recently heard that touched my heart more than she will ever know. I would like to share part of that email with you if I may.
"I just wanna start by saying that God used you to teach me a big lesson this summer...one I will never forget. I would like to share it with you though while we were in Africa I was too ashamed of myself to come to you. When we were all still emailing, back before we had ever met and gotten Mozambique, I remember thinking how grateful I was for all the help you offered while we were all getting the emails from Susi - you were really helpful in a lot of ways and I looked forward to meeting you. Then I remember meeting you in the Maputo airport - you watched my backpack for me while I got a coffee - and I decided my suspisions about you were confirmed - that you were a really sweet and kind and helpful person...well, somewhere between getting put in the dorm, and then the tent city moving to the new base, I didn't see you much and so I was busy making friends in the dorm - and trying to cope with being smashed in with 36 other girls - while you were experiencing the new base, and making new friends as well, I am sure. So the summer went on, and about mid-July I noticed that you didn't seem to be as friendly as you had been in the beginning and that you didn't seem to want to mix alot with the other students, and you were sort of keeping to yourself - and because of my own issues of being afraid of being rejected by people, I decided that you were just being stuck up and snobbish and that I would simply steer clear of you - instead of trying to find out why, or how I could be a servant to you, I simply made a judgment and decided it was the truth. The day that you got up and shared your testimony in front of the students, about what had hppened to your family and the death of your brother, I cried as you shared and then I got before God and cried my heart out - asking Him to forgive me for judging you and not having eyes to see your pain and be a friend and a strength to you. I got a good look at my own heart... I know you probably had NO clue that any of this was going on in my head - we were never around each other a lot, so you probably never noticed - but I wanted to say to you that I am sorry that i judged you, Joy, and wasn't a strength and support to you. I have prayed for you a lot since that time...And now when I have an oppurtunity to judge someone, I really think twice about the situation the person might be going through...God used you to teach me some truth about my own heart - for which I am very grateful."
This goes to show you that no one has any idea what another person is going through unless you take the time to find out. People are the best at hiding their hurts. We are the best at putting up masks so that we don't get hurt but most of all so that no one sees our hurt. Especially church folk and pastors, pastors kids, and anyone who has been in ministry for any length of time. It shouldn't be this way. Churches are supposed to be the place where people come to be healed not hurt.
I learned a couple of things this summer.
One: is that as men and women of God we need to be attentive to people and their needs. We need to learn to be giving of ourselves and be aware of what people are going through. If it is a family member that is going through a tough time, reach out to them. Figure out a way to love them, to BE love to them. If it is someone on the street don't judge them for the way they looked at you or the way they said something to you. Don't judge people just by what they do or say to you, you have no idea what they are going through in their lives. They may have just lost someone very close. Their marriage may be on the rocks. They may be struggling financially. They may be dealing with physical needs and issues. You never know unless you take the time to know.
Second: If you are the one hurting. If you are the one that is going through something terrible, find someone that you can talk to that will be an encouragement to you and not bring you down. Take it from me, we NEED others. There is no way that I could have made it on my own with out those select few around me supporting me. Let me tell you, I was a basket case. My emotions were all over the place. One moment I was happy and laughing and the next moment, when I would think about it, would be depressed, sad, angry, confused, unsure of everything. I was probably in the best environment anyone could have been in during the worst time of my life and yet I was still struggling. Please, don't hide. It only makes things worse. I hid for about a week seeing only two people the entire week. It made things worse. When I moved back into "normal" African life, back into my house and around people again it made things a bit easier because I wasn't constantly thinking about MY situation. We need each other to help us, to keep our head above water, to keep us sain in the midst of insaintiy. We need Godly people to come along side of us and hold us up. Pray and fight with us. Mourn and laugh with us.
If you are a Jesus Freak and you have holy given yourselves to the King of kings and the Lord of lords, open your eyes, open your mind, open your heart to people. People that are in need of someone. All it takes is one person. ONE person can make all the difference in the world for someone.
If you are someone hurting, in need of that ONE person find someone. There are people in churches who love Jesus and have holy given themselves to Jesus. There are people who are laid down lovers of the most High King, Savior, and Dad. Find those people and talk to them. I am glad to talk to anyone at any time if you want to drop me a note via email or via the comments below. I am all ears if you ever want to talk. Jesus loves us so much. All of the pain that we experience Jesus has taken 2000 years ago on the cross. He is reaching out for you will you reach out to Him for help. He has been waiting for you.
posted by Joy | 4:00 PM
1 Comments:
Once again, you prove wisdom beyond your age. Being in Toronto right now provides me with a God given opportunity to see people as God sees them, and to see a lost and dying multitude without any real hope save for the Gospel. Bless u.
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